Paul Goodwin

Bah humbuggery

Published on Sat 23 Dec 2006

I'm currently going for the world record number of consecutive mornings I can forget that the light bulb in my bedroom has gone, thereby getting an annoying surprise when I get home in the evening and it's too dark to do anything about it. I've managed 5 so far. And, as I'm sitting on the train going back to London for Christmas, I'm guaranteed to make it at least 9. Though I'm not totally sure they'll count as I won't be getting the annoying surprise. I'll email Norris McWhirter (is he still alive?).

Town has been surprisingly quiet for the last couple of days. I expected more Christmas shoppers. Perhaps everyone is better prepared than me. The fog that's been enveloping the entire place finally went away today. I reckon I feel the least festive that I've ever felt at Christmas this time round, and that's saying something. It's like it's this big annoying thing holding everything else up and generally getting in the way. Or maybe I'm just using it as an excuse to not do anything productive. I suppose, in its favour, it has been an excuse for some decent nights out. Not that I really need one. And another thing - does anybody actually like Christmas pudding? Or mince pies? And is turkey not the least nice of meats? Traditions are funny things aren't they. Crackers for example. I reckon they must date back to a time when people were much more easily amused. Mind you, I expect I'll be watching Strictly Come Dancing later.

I had a good time at the Boathouse Xmas Special Open Mic(TM) last night. The standard was really high (Jade, Irene Rae, Pale Marble Movie, Karmadillo (especially the in-between song bickering like an old married couple) and Kevin Hunt were all very good). Everyone had to do a Christmas song. At first I thought I might do In The Bleak Midwinter, because it's my favourite carol, then I thought Nothing But A Child by Steve Earle, because it's so pretty (if a bit cheesy and obscure), but eventually I settled on Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End) by The Darkness, on the grounds that I heard a story that the whole point of writing it was to try and get a school choir to sing the phrases "bellend" and "ringpiece" over and over again. The producer wouldn't let them. I ended up really quite liking the song and it's good fun to play. Maybe I'll do it if I have any December gigs next year. I also did Folly or a Fortress and Watertight. Either Jo or Roy had thoughtfully provided mince pies, small crackers and "popping candy" for each table. I'd not seen popping candy before, being the sheltered flower that I am. It's a fine powder and when you put it in your mouth, each particle makes a popping noise. Unless you put a large amount in your mouth at once, in which case all the moisture is sucked from your body leaving you as a shrivelled up husk with a sticky mess on your tongue. There was some synchronised popping at one stage and the back of the room sounded like there was a babbling brook there. Or someone taking a piss. After it was all over I popped to the Beaconsfield for a bit, marvelled at their amazing non-needle-shedding tree, and ended up playing Mariokart with Rishi from Karmadillo until too late really. I've still got my skills after all this time. The newer versions don't come close to the majesty of the original SNES one though.